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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 10:30 am 
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Honui Moai
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 10:40 am 
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Hoa Manu
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Location: Metro Atlanta- Proud home of the Tongariki Chapter.
Personal Statement: To Taua Na Moai!
I am right there with you. This ad campaign is repulsive.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 11:21 am 
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Kere
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Lucky wrote:



Holy fucking shit.
Holy fucking fuck shit.
Holy fucking shit fucking fuck shit fuck.
That can not be real.
It just can't be.

I don't want to live in a world where that is a real thing created by real people that have real jobs.

I have worked in advertising and marketing in some form or another for the last 20 some odd years.
My father was one of the original "Mad Men".
He worked for Ted Bates Advertising Agency and then moved over to Satchi and Satchi before retiring.
My Uncle (my dad's brother) worked for BBDO before starting his own agency called New York Creatives.

I have been immersed in the world of advertising since I could waddle.
I've been in pitch meetings, editing bays and film sets.
I've done voice over work (mostly scratch work), been an extra in commercials (no I won't tell you which ones), and lugged cables as an unpaid PA (gotta start somewhere).

I say all this only to help illustrate that I know the mechanics of what goes in to creating an ad campaign.

It's not a fly by night, seat of your pants kind of thing.

It takes months. Sometimes years.
The journey from concept to completion is (usually) a long harrowing one filled with obstacles. Legal, creative, executive and financial obstacles.

Before you see that one Coors Light commercial, it has gone through 10 different pitch meetings, 20 different storyboards, 30 different script rewrites, 40 hours of casting, 50 hours of filming, 60 hours of editing and has a $700,000 budget.

The point is A LOT of time and money and effort and hours go into these things.
Every time a new ad campaign is launched, money is up in the air and a bunch of jobs are on the line.

So what's my point?
My point is, I can't believe this commercial made it past the phase where some fresh out of school jerkoff who thinks he's the next David Ogilvy, struts into his first big Madison Avenue pitch meeting wearing his brand new, off the rack, Men's Warehouse suit (buy two get one free) and says "I know what this brand needs!"

I guarantee you, there will be a brand manager position opening up very soon on the Malibu Rum account.

For me, watching this is like returning to a favorite childhood vacation spot after years of being away.
It's like River Country.
Anybody remember River Country in Florida?
It was Disney World's first water park. Big in the late 70's and 80's.
It had water slides and lazy rivers and rope swings...a lagoon..a cove...you name it. It was awesome.
My dad took my brother and I every year.
We would run around and laugh and play and whoop it up...it was a gay old time.
Image

But River Country has been closed since 2001 and now the park lies abandoned.
Desolate. Dead. Decaying.
A rotting carcass on the shores of Lake Buena Vista. A bloated wasteland of septic filth and forgotten memories.

Image

That's what this fucking commercial is to me.

It's the corpse of advertising.
It's laying in a ditch on the side of a dirt road.
Surrounded by dead grass and old condoms.
In a town filled with people that nobody visits.

Fuck this commercial.
Fuck it right in it's stupid face.

I wish it were an April Fools joke. Then it would have only been slightly less obnoxious and poorly planned.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:01 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Personal Statement: TANSTAAFL
"Advertising" - I don't think that word means what they think it means...

This is even more disastrous (and far less funny) than the (OMGthankbuddhatheyaborteditatthelastminute) "biggest name in concrete since Jimmy Hoffa" campaign we didn't use.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:02 pm 
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Avai Rona
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:35 pm
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Location: Depends of what day it is.
Personal Statement: Drink? Jet Pilot!!!
Sadly, Malibu IS NOT on this list of April Fools jokes though there are some really good ones.

The Washington Post

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 3:56 pm 
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Matu'u
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Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:34 pm
Posts: 18624
Location: Queequeg Chapter (NH)
Personal Statement: Conch ceviche.
Well, here is the hit list, um, I mean full credits.

Quote:
Just in time for Spring Break! Matty Fisch of Pet Gorilla directs this coco-nutty spot that was featured as Creativity's Pick of the Day! This hilarious campaign targets young male drinkers, beckoning them to break the rules of what makes a "manly drink", and become Mali-bros. Equally comical stills for this campaign were taken by our epic and distinguished photographer Sye Williams, who always captures the most premium moments.


http://creativity-online.com/work/malibu-rum-malibros/45999

Reaction on Twitter is... mixed.

If they want typical bros to latch on to this they need a LOT more girls in bikinis in the ad.

-Rev

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:36 pm 
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Avai Rona
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Location: Depends of what day it is.
Personal Statement: Drink? Jet Pilot!!!
rev_thumper wrote:
If they want typical bros to latch on to this they need a LOT more girls in bikinis in the ad.
-Rev

Rev, I didn't see any girls in bikinis, all I saw a a guy in a coconut bra (ewww) and a guy with a tramp stamp :pieface:

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 9:02 pm 
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Chapter Tohunga
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:24 pm
Posts: 5021
Location: Frontierland, Southern Outpost, QQE
Personal Statement: Ouch!
With all the effort that goes into one of these, how could Vee not have been involved?

Didn't he post FB pix from somewhere warm? About the time this was filmed? Isn't he known for things like assless chaps? Lady's cotton under garments? Erotic My Little Pony coloring books? The Man-Tramp Stamp is almost like it's his calling card.

Me thinks the Vee doth protest too much.

It's not like anyone here would consider drinking Malibu, unless everything including the malort was gone.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 8:06 am 
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Fellow Moai

Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2015 8:09 pm
Posts: 18
Location: Atlanta
Personal Statement: All I want is for you to
My eyes! There should have been a warning before you played the video.

Things that could not be un-seen. :shock:


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:13 am 
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Matu'u
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Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:34 pm
Posts: 18624
Location: Queequeg Chapter (NH)
Personal Statement: Conch ceviche.
A few cocktails legitimately need coconut rum. I'm partial to the Cruzan but Malibu works fine in a Meihana!

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:56 am 
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Honui Moai
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 2:37 pm
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
I broke Peanut Rights Advocate.

*heh*


Also, if I'm forced to use Malibu, and I have been before, professionally speaking, it's Malibu Black.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 1:14 pm 
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Chapter Tohunga
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:24 pm
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Location: Frontierland, Southern Outpost, QQE
Personal Statement: Ouch!
For all the times I need to use coconut rum, I still have some nips from Ohana: Luau at the Lake

Was it Blue Chair?

I am closer to Bermuda than I am to my non-travel bar right now, so I can't check.

But, I'd buy from Ohana before a "Bro" anyday.

Speaking of Ohana, the Silent Auction is looking for your donations. Purge your cupboards of all that old Franciscan Starburst dinnerware taking up valuable space.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:44 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:33 am
Posts: 102
Location: Pacific Island of Alameda
There are plenty of totally legitimate coconut rums out there. Of the major commercial brands, Don Q is the best and Cruzan will do. Kalani, however, is definitely a step up. Sugar Island is too sweet for most folks but a delight for my childlike palate. Siesta Key has more spice notes and less pure coconut flavor than most, but is excellent for a different profile. Of course, if one is on a Caribbean island where one has access to St. Lucia's Marigot Bay or Wray & Nephew's Cocomania, then one is very fortunate.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 8:20 am 
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Tagata Ao
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Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:05 pm
Posts: 14443
Location: The apartment above Gunsmoke's James Arness.
Personal Statement: cromagnon ohio thugs
Peanut Rights Advocate wrote:
That can not be real.
It just can't be.

I don't want to live in a world where that is a real thing created by real people that have real jobs.

Yeah, it's like something out of Crazy People (1990). All that's missing is the hilarious, yet very focused tag line about "rum for bi-curious millennials".
rev wrote:
If they want typical bros to latch on to this they need a LOT more girls in bikinis in the ad.

There are no coincidences in marketing..... just sayin'.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 10:40 am 
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Tetu Avahata
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Location: 40:40:11N 73:56:38W
Personal Statement: I choose booze.
:shock: :? :x :wtf:

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 7:16 pm 
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Posts: 102
Location: Pacific Island of Alameda
rev_thumper wrote:
A few cocktails legitimately need coconut rum. I'm partial to the Cruzan but Malibu works fine in a Meihana!

As I mentioned in a post below the Rev's, Cruzan is good, but Don Q is the best of the standard brand brands. If either Kalani or Koloa is readily available in your area, try them. They are a cut above the more widely distributed cocorums. Siesta Key and Brinley Gold Shipwreck are also good choices where they are available.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2016 10:21 am 
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Chapter Tohunga
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:24 pm
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Location: Frontierland, Southern Outpost, QQE
Personal Statement: Ouch!
Brinley Gold! They were the ones at Ohana.
Support our sponsors. It's for the kids.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2016 11:27 am 
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Kere
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Location: Sound Beach, NY
I really shouldn't find any of this surprising.
These companies make an art form out of wasting money on bad ideas.

Years ago, Stoli Vodka - which at the time was owned by Allied Domecq, who not coincidentally also owned Malibu (now both owned by Pernod Ricard for those keeping track) spent a metric fuckton of money just to have a single sheet of Christmas wrapping paper "designed" by Diane Von Furstenberg, which would then be included in sales packs and used as ads in magazines like Rolling Stone.

The word "designed" being used in it's loosest possible form.

Stoli was in the midsts of an identity crisis and was trying to align itself with the fashion world.
Much in the same way Beefeater Gin (also owned by Allied Domecq) had done a year or two before.

So they gave Diane's people a call.
I think the agreed upon amount for a "Von Furstenberg Original" was several flatbed truck's loaded with $100 to be dumped directly onto her front lawn and covered with a blanket of diamonds.

The result? Something so lazy and forgettable, you probably never knew it even existed.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2016 1:25 pm 
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Fellow Moai

Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:07 pm
Posts: 402
Location: Washington, DC
Malibu--taking doucheness to a whole new level!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2016 2:08 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Joined: Mon Sep 21, 2009 9:56 am
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Location: Pineapple Lounge
Personal Statement: Kungaloosh!
Looks like the agency made a malibooboo!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2016 2:14 am 
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Location: Pacific Island of Alameda
foredeckape wrote:
Brinley Gold! They were the ones at Ohana.
Support our sponsors. It's for the kids.


As I've mentioned, one of the very good choices, even without the added cachet of being a FoM dponsor. Oddly enough, it is not necessarily the best on its home Island. For reasons not clear to me, Demerara Distillers makes flavored rums in St. Kitt's. I don't think there is a sugar industry there, so I don't know at what stage of the process the juice is imported. Since it is DDL, I assume the original product is from Guyana. Anyway, their Belmont Estate Golden Coconut Rum is a very good one, at least equal to Brinley Gold. Unfortunately, like so many of the best ones, it is not available in the states.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 9:34 am 
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Protector of the Golden Witco
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Location: I'm over here now!
Personal Statement: LIGHTS OUT!
Professor Pineapple wrote:
Looks like the agency made a malibooboo!

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A. LOL

B. Who is filming Powerofthetiki and myself at Ohana without written permission?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:33 am 
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Chapter Tohunga
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Location: Frontierland, Southern Outpost, QQE
Personal Statement: Ouch!
Puppets...
Who is pulling your strings?

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 2:48 pm 
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Honui Moai
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Location: Franklin, TN
Personal Statement: Drink, Drank, Drunk
I don't mind Blue Chair. It is sweet but as coconut rum goes I am good with it.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:19 pm 
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Manawale'a Rua Motuha
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Brinley is the way to go for Coconut Rum - no contest!

Malibu tastes like suntan lotion to me

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