The Islands of the Fraternal Order of Moai

Who has a good joke ..

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Knock knock


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Qui est la?

Here's an older thread that could use some new life....

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=15421&hilit=random

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What happen here i can't understand.

True, but that's a fellows only forum. No reason the tourists and initiates should miss out on some jokes here. So post em if you got em.

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We take not taking ourselves very seriously very seriously!

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

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To Taua Na Moai Mau Loa, Roger, Rob and Matt.

What’s brown and sticky?

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Guy comes home from work and sees his 50 year old wife preening and posing in front of a mirror in a very scanty outfit.
"Doris! What are you doing?"
"Sam - I just got home from the doctor from my annual checkup. He says I have the body of a 30 year old, the hair of a 25 year old and the skin of a 20 year old!"
"Oh yeah? So what did he say about your big fat ass?"
"Sam - your name never came up!"

Thread Necromancy -

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The Devil doesn't own my soul. He just leases it from time to time with an option to buy.

What’s the difference between a Necromancer and a Necrophiliac?

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Dude, that inappropriate medical professional(?)-slash-creep wants to fuck your wife.

And you realize of course, MM, that joke is about younger people than us, right? HA HA, kids these days...

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OR, he's on to the fact that your wife is a Dahmer-esque type, keeping sone parts in the beer fridge.
Maybe a pretty cool Ed Gein leg lamp with hair shade?

OR -- maybe she's got something up in the lab, on the slab (with a tan!) Look out, Sam.

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A stick?

Be warned, this one is pretty tasteless...

What's the difference between a baby and an 8-ball of coke?
Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball of coke fall out a window.

Alice Cooper - Cold Ethyl
Video: https://youtu.be/XtinXsXWeaA

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The Devil doesn't own my soul. He just leases it from time to time with an option to buy.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and hops up on a stool.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Murray?"

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"He spits his chaw like venom"

Let's get the musician/light bulb jokes out of the way.

Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to do it and nine to stand around and talk about how they could have done it better.

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to do it and nine to stand around and talk about how Neil Pert could have done it better.

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They have machines to do that now.

Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you've gotta show him TEN FUCKING TIMES!

Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds on to the light bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: What's the difference between a dead trombonerist in the middle of the road and a dead snake in the middle of the road?
A: The snake was on his way to a gig.

Q: How do you know whan a drummer's at your front door?
A: The knock keeps speeding up and slowing down, and he doesn't know when to come in.

Q: What's the last thing a stripper does to her asshole before work?
A: Hands him his sticks and drops him off at practice.

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"He spits his chaw like venom"

Did you hear the one about the anorexic nymphomaniac?

She swallowed an olive and five guys left town.

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"He spits his chaw like venom"

Botox used to be big deal...Botox this and Botox that...
Nowadays, no one even raises an eyebrow.

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A Monk, A Priest, and a Rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says I'm only here because of auto-correct.

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Never trust a bald barber, a skinny chef, and never ever do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Who’s there?

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A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor. The pastor explains, “to make the horse go, you gotta yell, ‘Thank God!’ And to make it stop, yell, ‘Hallelujah.’”
The cowboy rides off. He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff.
Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. ”Phew!” the cowboy sighs. “Thank God!”

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To Taua Na Moai Mau Loa, Roger, Rob and Matt.

I think the best joke of all is 2020

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The Devil doesn't own my soul. He just leases it from time to time with an option to buy.

What do you call an Irish guy on your back deck?
Paddy O'Furniture