The Islands of the Fraternal Order of Moai

"Hey Chris and Carrots."


Homepage Homepage    Leadership Leadership    Foundation Foundation    Local Chapters Local Chapters  News News    Events Events   

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]






Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 34 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2020 10:53 pm 
Offline
Honui Moai
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:48 am
Posts: 760
Location: indanapolis
Personal Statement: tiki
Who has a good joke ..

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2020 10:14 pm 
Offline
Tourist
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 05, 2020 2:56 pm
Posts: 24
Bob6 wrote:
Who has a good joke ..
Knock knock


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2020 11:30 pm 
Offline
Tourist
User avatar

Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:34 pm
Posts: 50
Location: Iowa
Qui est la?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 11:58 am 
Offline
Kere
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:57 am
Posts: 7408
Location: 40:40:11N 73:56:38W
Personal Statement: I choose booze.
Here's an older thread that could use some new life....

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=15421&hilit=random

_________________
What happen here i can't understand. :P


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 1:03 pm 
Offline
Matu'u
User avatar

Joined: Fri May 18, 2007 1:43 pm
Posts: 6462
Location: Sunny South Florida
Personal Statement: pants off bottoms up
leisure master wrote:
Here's an older thread that could use some new life....

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=15421&hilit=random

True, but that's a fellows only forum. No reason the tourists and initiates should miss out on some jokes here. So post em if you got em.

_________________
We take not taking ourselves very seriously very seriously!
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
ImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2020 4:27 pm 
Offline
Avai Rona
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:35 pm
Posts: 5413
Location: Depends on what day it is.
Personal Statement: Drink? Jet Pilot!!!
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.

“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”

“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

_________________
To Taua Na Moai Mau Loa, Roger, Rob and Matt.

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2020 11:56 pm 
Offline
Hoa Aga
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1826
Location: Land o' Lincoln
Personal Statement: 4LokoCocoLocoMocoSoco!
What’s brown and sticky?

_________________
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:59 am 
Offline
Hoa Manu
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:34 am
Posts: 1063
Location: Beyond The Sun
Personal Statement: Liiiighten up, Francis...
Guy comes home from work and sees his 50 year old wife preening and posing in front of a mirror in a very scanty outfit.
"Doris! What are you doing?"
"Sam - I just got home from the doctor from my annual checkup. He says I have the body of a 30 year old, the hair of a 25 year old and the skin of a 20 year old!"
"Oh yeah? So what did he say about your big fat ass?"
"Sam - your name never came up!"


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2020 3:09 pm 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2018 9:42 pm
Posts: 131
leisure master wrote:
Here's an older thread that could use some new life....


Thread Necromancy - :wowza:
Image

_________________
The Devil doesn't own my soul. He just leases it from time to time with an option to buy.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:07 pm 
Offline
Hoa Aga
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1826
Location: Land o' Lincoln
Personal Statement: 4LokoCocoLocoMocoSoco!
What’s the difference between a Necromancer and a Necrophiliac?

_________________
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:13 pm 
Offline
Hoa Aga
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1826
Location: Land o' Lincoln
Personal Statement: 4LokoCocoLocoMocoSoco!
mr_melvis wrote:
He says I have the body of a 30 year old, the hair of a 25 year old and the skin of a 20 year old!"

Dude, that inappropriate medical professional(?)-slash-creep wants to fuck your wife.

And you realize of course, MM, that joke is about younger people than us, right? HA HA, kids these days...

_________________
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:20 pm 
Offline
Hoa Aga
User avatar

Joined: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:27 am
Posts: 1826
Location: Land o' Lincoln
Personal Statement: 4LokoCocoLocoMocoSoco!
mr_melvis wrote:
...I have the body of a 30 year old, the hair of a 25 year old and the skin of a 20 year old!"

OR, he's on to the fact that your wife is a Dahmer-esque type, keeping sone parts in the beer fridge.
Maybe a pretty cool Ed Gein leg lamp with hair shade?

OR -- maybe she's got something up in the lab, on the slab (with a tan!) Look out, Sam.

_________________
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:56 am 
Offline
Hoa Manu
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:34 am
Posts: 1063
Location: Beyond The Sun
Personal Statement: Liiiighten up, Francis...
Savage Patty wrote:
mr_melvis wrote:
...I have the body of a 30 year old, the hair of a 25 year old and the skin of a 20 year old!"

OR, he's on to the fact that your wife is a Dahmer-esque type, keeping sone parts in the beer fridge.
Maybe a pretty cool Ed Gein leg lamp with hair shade?

OR -- maybe she's got something up in the lab, on the slab (with a tan!) Look out, Sam.

https://media.giphy.com/media/XMFxEpeOSDNGE/giphy.mp4


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2020 9:02 pm 
Offline
Tourist
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:34 pm
Posts: 66
Location: Denver CO
Personal Statement: AcmeTiki.com
Savage Patty wrote:
What’s brown and sticky?


A stick?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2020 9:04 pm 
Offline
Tourist
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:34 pm
Posts: 66
Location: Denver CO
Personal Statement: AcmeTiki.com
Be warned, this one is pretty tasteless...

What's the difference between a baby and an 8-ball of coke?
Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball of coke fall out a window.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:34 pm 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2018 9:42 pm
Posts: 131
Savage Patty wrote:
mr_melvis wrote:
...I have the body of a 30 year old, the hair of a 25 year old and the skin of a 20 year old!"

OR, he's on to the fact that your wife is a Dahmer-esque type, keeping sone parts in the beer fridge.
Maybe a pretty cool Ed Gein leg lamp with hair shade?

OR -- maybe she's got something up in the lab, on the slab (with a tan!) Look out, Sam.


Alice Cooper - Cold Ethyl :thumbsup:
Video: https://youtu.be/XtinXsXWeaA

_________________
The Devil doesn't own my soul. He just leases it from time to time with an option to buy.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 3:35 pm 
Offline
Kere
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:05 pm
Posts: 15774
Location: The apartment above Gunsmoke's James Arness.
Personal Statement: cromagnon ohio thugs
A grasshopper walks into a bar and hops up on a stool.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
To which the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Murray?"

_________________
"He spits his chaw like venom"
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 3:37 pm 
Offline
Kere
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:05 pm
Posts: 15774
Location: The apartment above Gunsmoke's James Arness.
Personal Statement: cromagnon ohio thugs
Let's get the musician/light bulb jokes out of the way.

Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to do it and nine to stand around and talk about how they could have done it better.

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 10. One to do it and nine to stand around and talk about how Neil Pert could have done it better.

Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They have machines to do that now.

Q: How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you've gotta show him TEN FUCKING TIMES!

Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds on to the light bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: What's the difference between a dead trombonerist in the middle of the road and a dead snake in the middle of the road?
A: The snake was on his way to a gig.

Q: How do you know whan a drummer's at your front door?
A: The knock keeps speeding up and slowing down, and he doesn't know when to come in.

Q: What's the last thing a stripper does to her asshole before work?
A: Hands him his sticks and drops him off at practice.

_________________
"He spits his chaw like venom"
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 3:42 pm 
Offline
Kere
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 2:05 pm
Posts: 15774
Location: The apartment above Gunsmoke's James Arness.
Personal Statement: cromagnon ohio thugs
Did you hear the one about the anorexic nymphomaniac?

She swallowed an olive and five guys left town.

_________________
"He spits his chaw like venom"
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 4:06 pm 
Offline
Fellow Moai
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2018 2:27 pm
Posts: 77
Location: Southern California
Personal Statement: Need beer?
Botox used to be big deal...Botox this and Botox that...
Nowadays, no one even raises an eyebrow.

_________________
ImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:10 pm 
Offline
Kere
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jul 01, 2006 11:28 pm
Posts: 11240
Location: Gumbo Limbo Chapter!
Personal Statement: Down with Pants!
A Monk, A Priest, and a Rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says I'm only here because of auto-correct.

_________________
Never trust a bald barber, a skinny chef, and never ever do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2020 11:26 am 
Offline
Honui Moai
User avatar

Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:48 am
Posts: 760
Location: indanapolis
Personal Statement: tiki
tikixof wrote:
Bob6 wrote:
Who has a good joke ..
Knock knock


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Who’s there?

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:37 pm 
Offline
Avai Rona
User avatar

Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:35 pm
Posts: 5413
Location: Depends on what day it is.
Personal Statement: Drink? Jet Pilot!!!
A cowboy buys a horse from the town pastor. The pastor explains, “to make the horse go, you gotta yell, ‘Thank God!’ And to make it stop, yell, ‘Hallelujah.’”
The cowboy rides off. He rides all day and starts to nod off in the saddle when he notices he is about to ride straight over a cliff.
Searching his memory, he yells to the horse, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” The horse grinds to a stop just at the edge of the cliff. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. ”Phew!” the cowboy sighs. “Thank God!”

_________________
To Taua Na Moai Mau Loa, Roger, Rob and Matt.

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:01 pm 
Offline
Tourist

Joined: Sun Jul 15, 2018 9:42 pm
Posts: 131
I think the best joke of all is 2020
Image

_________________
The Devil doesn't own my soul. He just leases it from time to time with an option to buy.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Who has a good joke
PostPosted: Tue Jul 07, 2020 12:19 pm 
Offline
Tourist
User avatar

Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2018 11:34 pm
Posts: 66
Location: Denver CO
Personal Statement: AcmeTiki.com
What do you call an Irish guy on your back deck?
Paddy O'Furniture


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 34 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
POWERED_BY
Translated by Xaphos © 2007, 2008, 2009 phpBB.fr