Aloha!

The staff at Ipu Ki is always trying to get information from the Temporal Recovery Division at the F.O.M. Test Labs but they keep scheduling appointments with us for one week ago! It all seems like some elaborate joke.

Very little is known about this division of the Labs, the only information they release is a timeline of events but some of them don't seem to have ever happened.

So imagine our surprise when a memo arrived from the Labs with a video disc attached announcing the suspension of "all temporal experiments" following the "untethering of temporal space."

No we don't know what that means either. The video doesn't really help, see if you can figure it out.

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Room crawl? Check.

Cocktail contest? Check.

Tiki vendors? Check.

Killer music? Check.

Giant outdoor pig roast? Check.

Polynesian show? Check.

All systems go!

Tickets for Ohana go on sale Monday, February 22 at 10:00 a.m. Eastern.

We are capping attendance again this year to keep the event small & intimate, so don't delay in purchasing your tickets!

We have held the price at $75, and that includes dinner on Saturday night at the pig roast.

We are also doing an 80s style kick-off "Prom" Party in Club Whispers at the Tiki Resort on Thursday night before Ohana (ticketed separately) that also includes food, so plan on coming out early and help us start the weekend off right!

More info on the website: www.LuauAtTheLake.com.

See you at the Lake!

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

In addition to running great events all F.O.M. chapters hold regular meet & greet events in their areas. They will be announced in the Port of the Initiate, posted on the Astronomical Calculator of the Gods and Facebook. If you are near one of our chapters be sure to stop by and say hello. Also be sure to look for Moai enthusiastically participating in other events... just look for events with any combination of tiki, rum and tomfoolery.

UPCOMING EVENTS

• Denver Area 2nd annual Chinese New Year Meet and Greet - February 12 - Englewood, Colorado
• Kahiki Open House - February 20 - Columbus, Ohio
• Bargoyle's Birthday Bash - February 27 - The Mai-Kai
• "Year of the Tiger" Chef Chinese New Year Party - February 27-28 - North Riverside, Illinois
• Beachbum Berry Remixed released - Last week of February- Planet Earth
• St. Patiki's Day Party - March 13 - Allentown, Penn.
• Kon Tiki torch relighting - April 10 - Tucson, Arizona
• The Hukilau - June 10-13 - Fort Lauderdale, Florida
• Ohana: Luau at the Lake 2010 - June 25-27 - Lake George, New York
• Surf Ohio Festiki 2010 -August 14 - Dayton, Ohio
• Tiki Oasis - San Diego, California - August 19-22
• Northeast Tiki Tour III - September 2010 - New England

See you in the Port,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

So everyone says the past decade kind of sucked. People cannot even agree on what to call it! The zeros? The oughts? The noughties? Heck, people are even arguing about whether the decade is actually over yet since the millennium actually started on January 1, 2001.

Now here in the islands we have a more optimistic view. First, the decade began with no F.O.M. at all and has ended (or will end) with the F.O.M. on the scene. That's pretty awesome.

Second, as a number of bloggers and columnists have noted it was a great decade for drinking! Classic cocktails made a huge comeback and we witnessed milestone events like the funeral of the Appletini. With some luck we can kick dirt in the face of her evil cousin, Bottle Service, soon.

This wasn't just about expensive bar tabs in trendy watering holes. The Internet has connected a vast community of cocktail/mixology enthusiasts and taken things like hand assembled photocopied pamphlets like the first Grog Log to full color books with a serious following (and we would like to buy our copy of Beachbum Berry Remixed now please!).

In 2000 you were lucky to find one lonely bottle of Angostura bitters behind a bar and now some people have an entire shelf of bitters in their bar. Plus they may make their own.

Craft distilleries have also come on strong in the last decade, often with involvement from some of the pioneers in the microbrewing industry, and now we can buy artisan rye whiskey, pot distilled rum and other nearly extinct spirits. Someone is even trying to revive Hawaiian Okolehao!

So sit back, throw a Three Sheets DVD in, and relax with a nice cocktail.

Because you can.

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha and Happy New Year!

We are very pleased to announce that after closing the books for Ohana Luau at the Lake 2009 the F.O.M. has donated an additional $3,000 to the Easter Island Foundation to fund a scholarship and youth programs on the island of Rapa Nui. The Easter Island Foundation, a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization founded in 1989, was named by the Moai as our national charity in 2008.

Funds for this gift, including a portion of general event proceeds, as well as silent auction and mystery bowl auction donations, were raised at Ohana 2009 in Lake George, New York. Ohana 2009 exceeded all of our expectations thanks to the generous support of our sponsors, performers, and attendees. Everyone had a great time at the event while this money was raised so this was truly fun with a purpose!

The gift has been split into two parts. First, $2,000 will be offered as The Fraternal Order of Moai Scholarship to a Rapa Nui student for use in paying college expenses. Preference will be given to those students who intend to return with skills to benefit the Rapa Nui people and island upon graduation. Second, $1,000 will be used to support 'a pó – the Rapa Nui Youth Involvement Program. This project involves Rapa Nui high school students in conservation and research efforts on their own island.

The fun is only getting started. Plans for Ohana Luau at the Lake 2010 in June are rolling along. Come join the Moai and experience fun with a purpose for yourself.

Keep the torches burnings,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

The Fraternal Order of Moai was founded in Columbus, Ohio, five years ago today on January 1, 2005.

At the time the "fraternal order" in the name was really just kidding around and the group was dismissed by Wikipedia as a mere restaurant fan club... which wasn't entirely off the mark. Everyone was content to maybe have a couple summer luaus and hang out once in awhile. Any plan to grow bigger was just a far off possibility.

No one expected to arrive at the start of 2010 with chapters in several parts of the country, large tiki themed charity events on the calendar, and many new fans of Polynesian pop visiting the virtual islands. But it happened anyway. "Never in my wildest, most rum-soaked dreams would I have imagined that The FOM would grow so fast and so quickly," says Matu'u Cowtown Kahuna, "I am still constantly impressed by both the quality and character of the individuals who come to our shores. The past five years have produced more fun and camaraderie than anyone really deserves. I hope to say the same thing five years from now, and fifty years from now. Long live The FOM!"

Maybe that quote about a multitude of monkeys typing has some truth to it.

We will celebrate our fifth Poreko throughout 2010 with a national convention and lots of other jackassery, tomfoolery and damn-fool boobery which seems to be a proven formula for raising money for charity. Be sure to join us at Ohana Luau at the Lake 2010, Festiki 2010 and NorthEast Tiki Tour 3 to sample the fun for yourself.

Stop by the Port of the Initiate and see what we're up to today.

Mahalo,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

The Mai-Kai in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, is 53 years old today. A lot has changed since 1956 and the open spaces around the restaurant are gone, but this is still one of the few places in the world where you can get a proper, classic tiki drink in the appropriate setting.

The Moai prefer the Molokai bar during happy hour, of course.

Be sure to visit the Mai-Kai if you are traveling in Florida.

But also be sure to support your local tiki bar!

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha,

'Tis the season... for last minute shopping.

Maybe you procrastinate. Maybe you spent all your money on rum. Maybe you need a hostess gift for that party you are crashing tonight. Whatever the reason is, you need a gift and you need it fast. What to do?

If you haven't spent all your money on rum the go-to gift for the tikiphile in a hurry is something from the local liquor store. But if you are a procrastinator (or live in a state with lame blue laws) the store may be closed already. Now what?

You could find a 24 hour grocery or drug store close to the liquor store and assemble a gift basket of whatever you can find. Fancy fruit, bitters, shower gel, whatever. Be sure to check the clearance aisle. If you are going to a party just show up with limes and ice and that will probably make you a hero. Remember, it is the thought that counts.

But if you have spent all your money on rum you really need to get creative. Don't even leave the house, times like this require creativity and sacrifice and as they say, giving begins at home.

• Give the gift of duplicates. We all have extra tiki mugs in our collection. Take one down from the shelf, dust it off and toss some swizzle sticks in it. Tie the swizzles into a bundle with a ribbon and you don't even need gift wrap.
• Give the gift that doesn't fit. If the gift is for someone smaller than you grab that too small aloha shirt or dress in your closet and present it to them as a vintage store find.
• Give the gift of slightly used rum. Grab an almost full bottle from your bar and as soon as you arrive at the party make a drink with it. No one will notice it was already open.
• Give an exclusive gift. If none of your rum bottles are nearly full grab an empty bottle, print up a silly label for it with your computer and fill it with the dregs of other rum bottles in your bar. Then present it as your "private blend."

Remember, the difference between appearing frugal instead of cheap is all in the presentation.

Now, get out there and hit the holiday parties.

Mele Kalikimaka!

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha,

Time once again to celebrate our Constitutional right to purchase alcohol and the demise of Prohibition 76 years ago today.

There are many ways to celebrate: make a classic cocktail, put aside the rum for a day and have some rye, or just have a beer. Better yet, go do that in your local bar... even if it isn't a tiki bar.

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha,

In addition to running great events and throwing fabulous holiday parties all F.O.M. chapters hold regular meet & greet events in their areas. They will be announced in the Port of the Initiate, posted on the Astronomical Calculator of the Gods and Facebook. If you are near one of our chapters be sure to stop by and say hello. Also be sure to look for Moai enthusiastically participating in other events... just look for events with any combination of tiki, rum and tomfoolery.

UPCOMING EVENTS

• Repeal Day - December 5 - The United States
• Exotica59 & Roger Danger's 32nd Annual Holiday Open House - December 5 - Aurora, Illinois
• Daddy Katz Katzmas Party - December 12 - Dayton, Ohio
• Kahiki Chapter Meet & Greet - December 12 - Dublin, Ohio
• Chef Shangri-La New Years Eve with The Cocktail Preachers - December 31 - North Riverside, Illinois
• Bargoyle's Birthday Bash - February 27 - The Mai-Kai
• Ohana Luau at the Lake II - June 25-27 - Lake George, New York
• Northeast Tiki Tour III - September 2010 - New England

See you in the Port,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

Kowloon Restaurant in Saugus, Mass. is celebrating her 59th year of business this month.

The restaurant opened as the the Mandarin House on November 30, 1950. Back then the dining room could hold 40 or 50 customers. Today Kowloon can seat 1,200 people after five expansions. The business remains successful as the third and fourth generation of the Wong family continue to have a hand in daily operations.

A massive menu and the lure of dining rooms like the Tiki Lagoon and the Volcano Bay bring in local fans and tikiphiles from around the nation. The Moai have a habit of showing up by the busload during events like the Northeast Tiki Tour.

Be sure to visit Kowloon if you are traveling in New England.

But also be sure to support your local tiki bar!

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

Composer Robert Drasnin is 82 today. He is well known around the virtual islands of course and the Exotica albums Voodoo and Voodoo II are required listening for all Fellow Moai.

We are also eagerly awaiting the arrival of Voodoo III which can not come soon enough. Check his web site for updates on that project.

So raise a toast to Mr. Drasnin this evening and spin some of his vinyl while you're at it (or spin a CD, or fire up the iPod, whatever you've got).

Thanks for doing the Voodoo that you do so well, Bob!

Mahalo,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha,

Today is Friday the 13th so the Moai are laying low and experimenting with appropriately themed drinks in our home bars.

It's not that we are superstitious, we just like spending time in our home bars so any excuse will do.

In the meantime, here's a fun fact:

Did you know that in the 1960s a medical expedition on Rapa Nui discovered a bacterium (streptomyces hygroscopicus) in a soil sample and that eventually led to the development of an immunosuppressant drug called Rapamycin?

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha,

The first Ohana: Luau at the Lake is already fading into memory but some great news just came into the Ipu Ki news hut: there will be a second Ohana in 2010.

The survey results are in from the 2009 attendees and two things stood out clearly.

First, everyone loved Lake George and wants to experience it in season when more attractions are open.

Second, people want warmer weather so they can use that Tiki Motor Inn pool while the bands play.

You asked, we listened. The Ohana team has worked with the staff at the Tiki Motor Inn to reserve the entire resort for a summer weekend that also offers competitive room rates and we are very excited to tell you that Ohana: Luau at the Lake 2010 will be held Friday, June 25 to Sunday, June 27.

There is a lot of work to be done but you can expect another fantastic three-day weekend and some unexpected surprises in Lake George.

Stay tuned to Ipu Ki for more details soon!

Keep the torches burning,

—Tagata Maori Rogorogo

Aloha!

In addition to running great events all F.O.M. chapters hold regular meet & greet events in their areas. They will be announced in the Port of the Initiate, posted on the Astronomical Calculator of the Gods and Facebook. If you are near one of our chapters be sure to stop by and say hello. Also be sure to look for Moai enthusiastically participating in other events... just look for events with any combination of tiki, rum and tomfoolery.

UPCOMING EVENTS (updated November 11)

• Denver Meet & Greet - November 7 - Englewood, Colorado
• Kokoru Chapter Meet & Greet - November 14 - Fairfax, Virginia
• Kahiki Chapter Bowl & Greet - November 20 - Columbus, Ohio
• Third Saturday at Chef Shangri-La (last event in 2009!) - November 21 - North Riverside, Illinois
• Repeal Day - December 5 - The United States
• Bargoyle's Birthday Bash - February 27 - The Mai-Kai
• Ohana Luau at the Lake II - 2010 - New York
• Northeast Tiki Tour III - 2010 - New England

Winter is coming so you can be sure that we'll be doing whatever it takes to stay sane until the Spring.

See you in the Port,

— Tagata Maori Rogorogo