Ipu Ki reporters have been scouring the nation searching for Sally since the spring. After many weeks of waiting we received a telegram at the Ipu Ki news hut which was a shock since Western Union stopped sending telegrams in 1996.
NWU5 27 NL=PORTLAND ORG 82
IPU KI CORRESPONDENT TOM=
SALLY HEADED WEST LEAVING TRAIL OF BODIES. BAD SENSE OF DIRECTION SO MISSED LA AND ARRIVED PORTLAND=
ARRIVED PORTLAND IN PURSUIT AFTER SECURING FIRST CLASS TICKET WITH STOP IN LAS VEGAS=
NOT IN THATCH BAR. NOT IN ALIBI BAR. WAITED HOURS. FORTUNATELY HAD EXPENSE ACCOUNT TO KEEP BAR TAB OPEN AND STAY HYDRATED. LOCAL POLICE SAY VERY HYDRATED=
ALSO NOT IN NEW TRADER VICS. PLACE IS MECCA FOR TIKIPHILES AND WILL ATTRACT ZOMBIES. WAITING IN BAR FOR SALLY. WILL REPORT LATEST=
Clearly Tom is on the case. If you see him at Trader Vic's in Portland please ask him to turn on his mobile phone.
And watch out for Sally, she seems to have stars in her maggot filled eyes after her acting debut on Walking Dead.
Keep the torches burning,
—Tagata Maori Rogorogo